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Now that Portland’s development league NBA team has been anointed with a adequately cheesy name and cheesy logo (it looks more like a turtle with a Dali moustache than a lobster) it is time for the team to focus on the most important aspect of basketball…the dance team.  While the roster has yet to be unveiled, this has not stopped management from getting the half time entertainment in order.  And what does it take to be on the Red Claws Dance Team?  According to the team’s website, just a car and a willingness to show up for the 24 home games.  So pull on your flesh-colored hosiery and midriff-bearing top and get your game day hair and make-up ready before heading  over to the tryouts on June 6th.  Oh, and don’t forget the $25 application fee.  You have to feel good about going for any job that requires payment to apply.  They even take Discover.

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It may sounds like a skin disorder, but the official name of the Portland’s new D-Leage b-ball team is the Maine Red Claws.  The Sea Donkey write in campaign proved to be no match for the overwhelming number of votes for the MRC’s.  If management is wise, they will just hire the Three Sons Lobster that stands out in front of RiRa’s as their mascot.

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The NBA’s little know Development League (aka D-League), is moving into Portland.  The team’s owners are clamoring for a name and have opened up voting to the public.  The 7 proposed options are almost as unfortunate as the name of the league:  Maine Beacons, Maine Crushers, Maine Claws, Maine Destroyers, Maine Red Claws, Maine Swarm and Maine Traps.  Maine Traps?  What does that even mean?  And Swarm?  Isn’t that a WNBA team?  How about the Maine Mollusks, or Portland Hipsters?  Personally, I am going with my favorite write-in option: The Portland Sea Donkey’s.  You can vote here:  www.nbamaine.com. 

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